Ramblings About Makeup That Made Me Cry

Ramblings About Makeup That Made Me Cry

But not smudged black tears because I'm wearing my magical makeup.


It's amazing how much life can change in just a short, hot summer.

All good things. All good things.

It's also amazing how one experience can lead you to another experience. And that experience can lead to another experience. And during said experience you think you're failing horribly but you're actually progressing in a way that was meant for you. Progressing in a way that is shaping things to come and at the time you don't even see it. You don't even know it. But the journey is seamless as if it knows exactly what it's doing, all the while keeping you in the dark until the grand reveal.

I think I'm on kind of a journey, guys. 

I started this blog a year and a half ago. And then I started this makeup biz with Younique a month ago. Prior to becoming a Younique presenter I had a blog post in mind that was never written. It was right around the time that women, mostly bloggers, were bravely posting their no makeup face for cancer awareness. I say bravely with half snark and half sincerity. 

Snark because how brave is it to post a picture of yourself with no makeup (but make sure you use a sweet filter and low lighting) to promote cancer awareness? You know what's brave? Surviving chemo. Losing all of your hair and going out in public with your head held high. That's brave. And was it even to promote cancer awareness? Or another chance to post a selfie. I'm also not a fan of doing silly things to "promote" awareness of anything like posting your bra color or some weird code speak so nobody knows what you're talking about or why. 

Sincere because I could never do that. I would never post a picture of myself with no makeup. It's scary to me. I don't consider myself to be a natural anything and there is no filter that will mask and beautify five hours of sleep, dark circles, and bags under my eyes.

And this is why I love makeup.

Don't get me wrong, I've never been a makeup brand snob. I used to work in admissions at a beauty school and prospective aesthetician students would proudly announce that they only used Mac cosmetics. And I was over here like - Aaaaand?

But I always, always, ALWAYS wore makeup from the time I was finally able to get away with wearing it without getting in trouble. And even before then. Don't tell Mom.

I can remember just after having my kids making sure my makeup and hair were done. Even if I wasn't going anywhere. Why? Because I felt better that way. I felt awake. I felt functional. When I passed a mirror I wasn't horrified. Making sure my face was done made me feel like a human. It made me feel pretty when my body was taken over by nursing, diaper changes, and sleepless nights.

I've only gone makeupless for six weeks out of my adult life. It was the six weeks following my son's accident while we stayed in the hospital. I didn't wear makeup at all. I didn't feel like I deserved to wear makeup or feel pretty. So I didn't. I felt like I didn't deserve to spend time on myself. I didn't want my shoes, my clothes, my purses, my pretty things, or my makeup.  And when I see pictures of that time and a makeupless face I know why and I feel it again.

[This is the part where I'm in tears from even writing this. But I'm wearing my 3D Fiber Mascara so my tears are totally clear and not black. Winning! Is 'winning' still a thing? I digress.]

Fast forward five years.

After I tried the above mentioned magical mascara and I decided to start selling it to all my friends it felt like a fun way to be girly and earn a little extra money on the side. 

And then it was weird when I was kind of good at it. And then it was even weirder when I started feeling...p..p...paaassionate about my little Younique business.

But then what happened...THEN WHAT HAPPENED was that I started getting messages and notes from my friends who bought makeup from me or 3D fiber mascara saying they were getting random compliments from strangers. 

Saying their kids said they looked younger. 
Saying people told them they looked beautified. 
Saying their face looked flawless.
Saying they felt pretty.

The feeling I got from hearing that was something I never expected. You mean to tell me I was sharing something with other women that made them feel good about themselves? That made them feel pretty?

It meant something to me. It means something to me. Because in that moment when I'm reading their comments I can feel exactly how they feel. 

So maybe some say makeup is fake. That it isn't real. Maybe some say it's not authentic and maybe some say people hide behind too much makeup. Maybe they say makeup covers up what's really there.

Maybe it does. But maybe that's not a bad thing. 

Maybe she feels better about herself when she wears it. Maybe she feels more confident and that hides her insecurities. Maybe she feels sexier. Maybe she feels happier.

If this journey that I'm on means I have anything at all - even the tiniest bit - to do with making someone feel better about themselves then give me my magical mascara and lipgloss because I have a journey to continue.



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