Confrontation

It's still Thursday where I am so I'm calling this my Throwback Thursday post.

I'm not choosing a past recipe or DIY project I've updated. I'm choosing a post from last week.

Last week I took a stab at talking about the recent Ban Bossy campaign. I'm not the only one. A lot of people had a problem with it. But I decided to express my opinion and tell everyone that I felt redefining a word with a negative connotation into a positive one does NOTHING to promote leadership and that bossing someone around is totally different than leading. TOTALLY DIFFERENT. And no matter how many studies about self esteem are cited, there is NO CORRELATION with the word bossy. And this is important because it's the word chosen as the face of the ENTIRE CAMPAIGN. And I still feel that way. Most people who read it and took the time to comment agreed with me, obviously, because they're amazing and fabulous. But I had some who disagreed with my opinion, too. Which is totally okay. I forgive you.

This is the thing. When you choose to put your life and your opinions out there you invite opinions and oppositions of others right into your little blog. It's not rocket science. Of course, people are going to disagree with me. I'm okay with that, although you should really reconsider your position if you're disagreeing with me right now. 

I wouldn't write it if I couldn't stand behind it. I wouldn't write it if I hadn't thought it through. I'm comfortable with opposition. I welcome a conversation or even a debate about issues that concern us on a daily basis. I love my liberal friends just the same as I love my conservative friends and I always at least try to see the opposite side and meet in the middle. Not for one second do I think any of them are stupid, uneducated, or lack intelligence. Not the friends I choose to engage. They just feel differently about issues than I do. 

When did simply having an opposing opinion about an issue become synonymous with being stupid? 

Beats me. But for the opinion I had last week (and still do), it was insinuated that I was uneducated and small minded. Which, I'm sure you'll understand, is ridiculously offensive and insulting. Disagreeing with someone doesn't make them uneducated. It just means you disagree. But name calling does make you stupid. See what I did there? I just really can't with people who resort to name calling in their arguments because the argument looses all credibility. If I've ever seriously done this, please call me on it. I mean, besides a couple sentences ago. Starting now.

So I was all worked up about it last week. Mostly because I felt like I met this person in the middle of the argument, tried to see the other side, but I still felt the same way. I didn't feel like I was met with the same courtesy. Instead, I was met with a lot of condescension. And someone who still thought I was uneducated. Fightin' words. 

First of all, if you can't understand hyperbole and heavy sarcasm, this blog is not for you. I always over exaggerate, I talk with my hands, I make a big deal out of everything. Even if it's not such a big deal.

Second, if you think I'm uneducated, you clearly do not know me. I don't watch one news channel, I don't read one article, and if you think you have me figured out so I fit into a little narrow box, you are mistaken. And, again, you don't know me.

And, third, if you disagree with me, fine. But you'll never convince me that berating or insulting someone promotes your cause. Never. 

Yeah, so you could say my feathers were ruffled and I'm not afraid to admit that. Not because I was challenged but because I was insulted. I was uncomfortable with it because, believe it or not, I'm not comfortable with confrontation.(I'm not!) But you know what happens when you're all offended and angsty and uncomfortable? Growth. Exposing a raw nerve made me brave. Where I wanted to retreat and never piss anyone off ever again, I decided, instead, to grow some balls in order to handle yet another situation that called for me to stand up. A lot of people wanted to expose my raw nerves last week!

Fine. It's not always time to fight it out. Yes, sometimes you should ignore the nerve. And other times you have to stand up. 

Confrontation: Exposing raw nerves...

LIKE A BOSS

...since 1981.






14 comments:

  1. get it, girl. Favorite paragraph: "First of all, if you can't understand hyperbole and heavy sarcasm, this blog is not for you. I always over exaggerate, I talk with my hands, I make a big deal out of everything. Even if it's not such a big deal." ME TOO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And that's why there should be a Drinking the Whole Bottle of Momma Candy.

      Delete
  2. I agree with ya. Being bossy and being a leader are very different because of the way they make people feel.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mornin', Courtney from The Brown Girl with Long Hair blog...

    I agree with you on SO MANY points you raised in this blog, and therefore obviously feel you hit it out of the park on this one.

    You go, Girl.

    Keep. Your. Voice.

    Stopping in from #SITSSharefest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! We all have a voice and we should all be able to express it without being called names and EVEN IF WE DISAGREE!

      Delete
  4. This is interesting, and good for you not retreating. It's tough to take a position publicly and stick to it! Nice to meet you! Stopping by from Sits Sharefest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! And it is tough to take a position but that's what my blog is for. For me to talk about anything I want. If people disagree, let's discuss! Not insult!

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  5. I read your post last week and we both agreed!!! I also agree that when we write we state OUR opinion, but open ourselves to others opinions. Which as EDUCATED women we are fine with otherwise we would not have a BLOG. That all said, you may have your opinion, state it, back it up with some facts, but DO NOT name call, that is ignorant. I agree with:
    " And, third, if you disagree with me, fine. But you'll never convince me that berating or insulting someone promotes your cause. Never."
    So you go girl.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I will go!

      And, yes, name calling is never becoming and it actually makes me not want to listen to a thing the name caller says no matter if they agree with me or not.

      Delete
  6. Yes--basic confrontation/argument skills. Don't use name-calling. It's not going to help your case and it's not going to help preserve friendship of any kind (because it is possible to disagree and argue with people and still have a relationship with them, obviously) But name-calling is never something that should be a part of disagreeing with others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! The name calling is one thing and even easier to brush off because it's so immature. But it's the insinuation that just because I disagree it MUST mean I'm uneducated because how could I possible disagree?! Ridiculous.

      Delete
  7. I've often been subjected to disagreement on my blog posts since I focus on disability issues. It's definitely ruffled my feathers too, but it's great to own it and hold your own!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Girl, don't even get me started! I have a child with special needs and talk about disagreement! The stakes are higher and the emotion is raw so opinions and recommendations are serious stuff and everyone has an opinion when it comes to disability.

    ReplyDelete

I love all your comments, big and small! Unless they're mean. Nobody likes a meanie.

But, seriously, please leave a comment and let me know who you are! I like to know my readers like they know me! If you are a no-reply blogger, I'll do my best to comment here instead of through email. So check back on the comment form!

Hope your day is filled with sugar!