The Real Housewives of New Jersey: What Will Penny Say?

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: 

What Will Penny Say?


So, yes, I've been watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey, amongst all of my other shows.

STILL ZENNING

And they are still in Arizona for zen and therapy and shenanigans. Let me just say that Melissa seems miserable. First she was sick and that was understandable why she'd be miserable. But overall she just seems sour about everything. It's one thing to be "over it," but it's a whole different pile of crap if she's just being snotty. Which she kind of is. Get "over it!" This is what you're paid to do! You're paid to go to beautiful resorts FOR FREE in the best state in the nation - ARIZONA - and all you have to do in return is fight and make up, fight and make up (repeat) with your sister in law. Is that so hard?

LEAN ON ME

Anyway, it seems Melissa and Teresa are getting along but Joe Gorga doesn't want to let go the nagging feeling that his sister has something to do with cheating rumors about Melissa. Later on they all go do a tight rope exercise in which they have to learn to lean on each other to balance. Get it?! So clever, Miraval. So clever.

I gotta say, I love a good Jersey brawl but I also love when the Jersites are getting along and having fun. It's fun to watch. Especially when they're being all loud and rude at the pool and real Miraval guests get up and leave because Jersey has just invaded their zen. I also love seeing Joe Guidice NOT being a big douche. I mean, he still has his moments but he's a little less painful to watch these days. I guess impending indictments will do that to you.

Back to the tight rope exercise. Just as Melissa and Teresa are leaning on each other thirty feet off the ground, Gorga just happens to be checking his Twitter IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT and finds that, Gasp! People are talking about him and his wife! And this is important because? Oh, I forgot. Because Teresa must have something to do with it. Even thirty feet in the air.

THE SNUB

Later that night everyone gets together for Melissa's birthday dinner and Melissa goes around the table thanking everyone and saying something nice about everyone EXCEPT TERESA! Sound familiar? Remember when everyone went ballistic when Teresa failed to mention Kathy's name during the California camp out? Remember how everyone thought it was the most evil, conniving, calculated thing ever? Well, looks like Melissa is taking a page from Teresa's book again and...crickets. Well, they got a little irritated. But the irritation lasted about as long as Melissa and Teresa's new found truce - about a minute.

AGAIN

So turns out everyone is still kind of mad. Well, I mean Joe and Melissa are still mad. Caroline instigates more airing of dirty laundry, further fueling her relevancy on the show. Joe finally accuses Teresa again of conspiring with Penny, who has already said Teresa had nothing to do with it. Everyone decides that Teresa,, Joe, and Melissa should be united against Penny and all the naysayers. Joe throws a glass in a fit of rage, unnecessarily and Melissa calls him an idiot. I think that was the only time in this episode where I might have liked Melissa. Maybe.

WHAT DOES PENNY SAY?

Next week Prom Hair Penny returns with a secret. Melissa wonders what Penny was going to say during their last meeting because she thinks Penny was holding back. So on scenes from the next episode Penny is going to out someone. Mark my words, people, it won't be Teresa. Production would have been all over that with promos and dramatic music. Penny is going to out Jan. Which isn't really an "out" because we already new that Jan wants TV time and totally threw Melissa under the bus for her fifteen minutes. Sound familiar, Melissa? You heard it here first, folks.

P.S. Did anyone see Danielle on Watch What Happens Live? Sister was holding in her crazy as tight as she could. But I could see it seep out every now and then. Still miss her and wish she would come back to stir some stuff up. She's got the dirt on Mel, I just know it.

Until next week...

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