Real Housewives of New Jersey: Is Melissa a Cheater?

Real Housewives of New Jersey:

Is Melissa a Cheater?

Hey, RHoNJ-ers! Fancy meeting you here this Monday morning.

Last night's episode was a lot of the same - Awkward moments between Melissa and Teresa...boring moments between the Manzos...a sprinkling of Kathy and Richy...blame Tre for things...and repeat.

Let's get started.

So Melissa's writing a book about how to have a great marriage - Italian style. First of all, I think the moment you talk about how "great" your marriage is in the public eye is the moment that something or someone will attempt to prove you wrong. Especially when you've only been married for like seven years, is it? Second, Come the frick on.

Teresa and Melissa meet for a play date and Melissa remarks that it's "weird" that cheating rumors are coming out now that she's writing a book about how to have the perfect marriage. Um, that isn't "weird." Do you know what show you're on? Do you, Melissa, remember that you were signed on to the show to dig up dirt on Teresa and now the same thing is happening to you? What planet are you on?

She then asks Teresa, "Am I a cheater?" And then Theresa awkwardly answers with a no as if it's THE HARDEST "no" she's ever had to say. How would Teresa know if she was a cheater anyway?

The scene where Jacqueline comes home to Nicholas was so stinkin' sweet. And Jacqueline's neck looks amazing! She might be a little cuckoo but she's a cuckoo bird with pretty sweet looking neck.

Talking about the test kitchen and cannoli madness between Richie and Kathy is mind numbing. But I am really loving this traditional marriage trap theme the production company is tapping into. I think it's a little too mature for this show, but interesting, nonetheless.

Manzo boredom ensues. And now that Lauren is skinny, she's not sure she wants to roll with Vito. Shocking. She still seems just as miserable a person as she was before she lost weight. Vito asks her if he proposed would she have the cojones to say no. Let me be the first to say that is the most romantic pre proposal convo ever.

Joe asks Melissa if she'd like to go to Arizona for her birthday with the RHoNJ gang. She looks like she'd rather die but agrees anyway. That should be in the next episode. And why wasn't I informed that the RHoNJ peeps would be in my home state so I could go stalk those mofos?!

The episode climax takes place at Teresa's Milania Hair Care launch party. She calls Melissa ahead of time to tell her that Penny and Jan will be there. Penny is the owner of the infamous ghetto salon from last season and cousin to cue ball head, Angelo. Remember Angelo? Jan is a former best friend of Melissa who is now enemy numero uno. Teresa says they should confront these ladies together. I think that is a horrible idea but nobody ever listens to me.

So, fast forward to the launch party. Melissa is there with Joe and Kim D decides that it's the time to make peace with Melissa for the thirty-seventh time. But we all know that anything touched by Kim D is tainted. Her mere presence indicates a shiz-show. You know it won't be good.

Enter Jan. She saunters over to "say hello" and then confronts Melissa. Melissa looks nervous and uncomfortable through the entire thing. Jan goes on to confront Melissa about allegedly taking off with her ex boyfriend and using Jan as an alibi. This is all done in front of Teresa.

The funny thing about this whole confrontation is that Teresa sold it to Melissa as both of them being united and Tre backing Melissa up. What it turned into was Tre making sure her name was cleared and that she wasn't involved in any of the rumors. Melissa and Joe thought she was trying too hard, so much so that it made her look guilty. I don't agree.

While I think it was shady that instead of backing Melissa up, Tre created an opportunity to clear her name and then disengaged, something else is fishy.

I don't know about anyone else but if someone accused me of cheating and I wasn't at all guilty of it, I'd be either laughing in her face or really, really angry. Melissa seems guilty. She just does. I don't know if that's her style but her reaction to Jan saying to her face and in front of national TV that yes, she cheated, without skipping a beat was a little suspect. I can't stand Jan's face. But sister didn't sway from her story. She accused her face to face and Melissa didn't have a really good defense. Just a lot of stuttering and eye rolling.

Enter Prom Hair Penny. She comes to Melissa to tell her she only offered what she was asked and that was if Melissa was cheating. Melissa demands to know who asked and Penny won't say.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone accuses another person of something and doesn't name the source. It's all or nothing. I can't even entertain that person's credibility if they won't out their source. I'm talking to you Jacqueline. And can we all just be honest here?! Duh! It was the producers! Or the magazine writers! Why does it always have to be Teresa? Constantly blaming her just makes Melissa and Joe look like idiots. Do you not know how production works? Tell me you are not that dumb.

Arizona in the heezy next week!

So what do you think? Is Melissa a cheater?


  1. You are hysterical! I haven't seen this episode yet, but I will have "Prom Hair Penny" running through my head when I do!

    1. Aw, thanks! I keeps it real.

      And believe me, you won't be able to miss her.


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