Real Housewives of New Jersey: Joe v. Joe

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Joe v. Joe

Holy anxiety! The last five minutes of Real Housewives of New Jersey was CA-RA-ZY!

I need it to be next Sunday already! I need to know what happens! Help me Baby Jesus! Help me Tom Cruise!

Let me back up. I'm not going to give much of a summary because there really isn't a play by play to tonight's episode. I mean we have a sprinkling of Caroline and Albert's boring empty nesting. There was a bridge that Al's dad built, he wanted Caroline to cross it, she did. The end.

Other than that, the whole family is heading to a castle in the "Adirondikes" for some family therapy minus the Manzos and the Lauritas. They don't want to be involved, which is probably for the best.

Everybody heads up through the snow all the while talking about how they don't want to go and how Theresa is horrible. Same ol', same ol'.

I don't really understand why the Gorgas agreed to do the retreat. They clearly do not want to go. They also clearly do not think they have done anything wrong, ever. Twitter be damned.

Two peace keepers show up who are definitely not in Kansas anymore. They're supposed to be team builders and I'm sure they are amazing at what they do. But they were steamrolled by this family. It all starts to go down when they fall off the teamwork boat and start talking. No talking, guys!

It quickly escalates and Melissa is on her knees begging Theresa to STOP whatever they think she's doing and screaming that she has no pride. Obviously. I had to look away. I just couldn't.

Theresa and Joe start yelling at each other and Rosie and Joe Guidice step outside. Then Joe Gorga calls his sister scum. Oh, no. he. didn't.

Theresa exercises her famous flight from fight when crap hits the fan and goes outside to tell Joe Guidice she wants to leave and her brother called her scum. Joe Guidice storms back in to demand an apology and then...AND THEN Joe Gorga charges at him.

Then the fight.

Then screaming.

OMG, the anxiety.

And it's over until next week. Because, of course it is.

It is painful watching Theresa argue. She can't find words, she involves other people, she focuses on things that don't make any sense, her voice gets really high, it's just never good. I cringe when she starts because I know there will be no sense made.

And I cringed when Joe started talking about Autism. So glad Theresa tried to stop him.

So you know there must be something wrong with the Gorgas if the Guidices are coming out on top in this episode. Because they are. The Gorgas just look like angry munchkins.

What does Melissa have to be mad about anyway? As I already stated via tweet:

This was definitely not Melissa's shining episode. Blame the editing, blame whatever. But Melissa came off like an angry, bitter biotch.  I don't get it. She says horrible things about Tre. And she says it just as much, if not more than Tre ever does. So what's the deal? Why doesn't anyone else on the show see this?

I never thought I'd say this but Rosie and Kathy are becoming my favorites. The voices of reason. Who knew?

I can't wait until next weekend! I think I say that every Sunday. But I'll be out of town next weekend. Probably with an alcoholic beverage in my hand. Probably. Thank Tom Cruise I have DVR.

Oh, but before I sign off, here's a little preview of next week's aftermath. You're welcome.


  1. I don't watch the show but you just made me want to watch it. I lol at Help Me Tom Cruise. Too funny.

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  3. Oh, this show is my guilty pleasure (well if I'm being honest, not just this one, most of the Housewives keep me entertained!)

    I adore Rosie and I think that Melissa is starting to show her true colors more and more!

    I was actually a little disappointed with the episode this week, I didn't feel like it showed much more than the previews. So I will be glued to the screen come Sunday!


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