Real Housewives of New Jersey: "I wonder what else in this house is fake."

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Nothing is fake in Jersey, right?

It's Sunday. And this is the day that Bravo has made for us to enjoy THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY!

[Best season ever.]

And I think rather than recapping everything, I'll just tell you what I think because that's what's really important. It will probably also involve a recap anyway. Basically, it will be identical to the conversations about RHoNJ that I have with my sister.

First, I'd like to make note of Melissa's new tag line.

"Sexy wife, loyal wife. Take a page from my book."

I really don't like this. It's an exact rip off of Theresa's "Happy Wife, Happy Life" motto all the way back from first season. For someone who works so hard to show everyone she's not jealous or trying to be Theresa, I'm confused by this choice.

We start at Theresa's house while she's eating with her girls, wearing some type of self promotional tank top. The girls are saying mean things to each other, as per usual, and the conversation turns to the health of Theresa's father and his pacemaker surgery. It's pretty clear that if anything happens to Theresa's father, everything will implode.

My favorite part of this scene was Milania calling her grandfather a "nice little fellow." I think Milania should be in every scene. Go to your room, Gia!

Cut to Lauren. She's mad her mommy and daddy didn't bring her coffee. And she's twenty-six. And she still lives with her parents. And she still seems miserable, even though she lost a bunch of weight. She's a lot of fun. Is anyone really surprised that she's still unhappy and still living with her parents? Me, neither.

Rich and Kathy tour their daughter's college campus. And I've determined that Rich and Kathy are like Terry and Heather from RHofOC only without all the money and refinement. Rich, like Terry, is always joking and saying things that irritate Kathy. Why didn't we see any of this in previous seasons?

Let's talk about the Jacqueline and Autism story line. It's semi-off limits to me for snarking, like I said last week. Every time she breaks down, I just want to hug her. It is so totally obvious she was at that time still in so much pain. My only questions is why go through with the show? Why not take a break? She seems really fragile, so much so that she can't even get through an interview for Parents Magazine. Never the less, I really love seeing Nicholas progress and say "iPad" and "I love you." What a touching moment at the Poker game. (Yes, I said a Poker game.) And you're a liar if you tell me you didn't get a little verklempt watching that.

We see a little Kim D. [Yawn]

Lauren dishes parenting advice. [Laughable.]

It's funny how the people who have zero kids know the most about parenting.

On showing the house...what a weird scene. And since when do the home owners show the house? And since when are kids in the house ever a good idea? Since when are the home owners being in the home during a showing a good idea? It was all very...silly. And unreal. And then Ditty's babymama shows up in a poncho with some chick named Jennifer because she's interested in the Gorga house. Whaaaa?

So they go up to the keyhole laden master bedroom and find a crack and crap chipped off the sink. Oh, yeah, and the Jennifer chick breaks the faucet.

My question is if you're trying to sell a house for 3.2 million dollars, or even for $100K, don't you have everything in tip top shape? The answer is yes. That's why I think this whole scene is fake, Ditty's babymama doesn't want their key hold house, and this is all for show so Melissa can act like she needs to flee dangerous Theresa. Not buyin' it.

But you know who's a genius? The production company. Ditty's babymama and Jennifer were talking about the broken sink and one of them says, "What else in this house is fake?"

Filming cuts to Melissa looking at herself in the mirror. No joke.

Theresa also has a theory that Melissa controls Joe with her blood. You don't wanna know.

Theresa and Caroline have a sit down. Caroline is really good at those. I thought it was productive. I still don't understand why Caroline is involved. I'd like to think she cares but I think it's really because she needs a story line. Theresa wants an apology from Jacqueline and she wants her brother to come to her. Oh, and she does get an apology from Caroline. But I also think that Caroline isn't as chummy with Melissa this season. We'll see.

I think Jac has bigger things to worry about, number one. And number two, I don't really think Melissa wants a truce. She said she goes to church and prays to sell their home (still not buyin' it) but doesn't pray for the family to come together. She seems a lot more tired, shut off, and angry this season.

For you Real Housewives lovers, I read a really good interview with Theresa's best friend featured on All About the Real Housewives. She explains a lot about how Bravo works, how productions works, and now I watch with a whole new perspective. She also confirmed what I've thought all along...Caroline was never mad about the Olive Garden comments. She faked it.

I love Olive Garden, by the way.

See you next week!


  1. We have used these diapers since our baby was a Newborn. With 4 little nieces, we knew which brand we wanted and which type. In the family's "mom's circle" it was just well known to go with honest diapers. During our baby shower, one of the gift baskets had a pack of expensive diapers and sure enough, we had 2 blow-outs/leak-throughs in the short amount of time we used them.
    honest company

  2. I am dying to know the behind the scenes of the RH shows. I starting watching season one of Orange County, and it seems to get faker and faker. I would love to read that article.

    I used to love Melissa G, but agree with the fake part. I wish they would bring Danielle back to piss everyone off.. lol!


I love all your comments, big and small! Unless they're mean. Nobody likes a meanie.

But, seriously, please leave a comment and let me know who you are! I like to know my readers like they know me! If you are a no-reply blogger, I'll do my best to comment here instead of through email. So check back on the comment form!

Hope your day is filled with sugar!