Eff You, Potty Training!

Eff You, Potty Training!

Potty training regression can suck it.


So I potty trained my three year old daughter about six months ago. I mean, I thought I potty trained my daughter six months ago. I should have known better because it was a little too easy at the time.

We bought special underwear, she was totally into it. We got a Dora potty seat, there were stickers and treats for going pee pee in the potty. Within a week, I got to call her potty trained.


We even took an eight hour road trip in only underwear and she did great!

And here we are...un-potty trained.

It started with her yelling out, "I gotta pee!" and then collapsing to the floor, in a ball, giggling until I rushed over to her and carried her to the bathroom. All of the sudden, she had trained me to literally make her go to the bathroom. Short of peeing for her, I was doing everything else!

Then she just wasn't even telling me anymore. I would ask her if she needed to go and she would angrily scream, "No!"

Okay, then.

I was getting really frustrated, but before going all out "Mean Mommy" on her I took her to the doctor in case she had a UTI or some kind of blockage. Nope! She's just fine.

It has now progressed to an all out power struggle.

This is how it goes:

[Lola collapses to the floor in a ball, or does a pee pee dance.]

Me: "Lola, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

[She blatantly ignores me.]

Me: "Lola, do you have to go the bathroom?"

Lola: "No! I don't have to!"

[Time passes, more squirming, more pee pee dancing.]

Me: "Lola, you need to go to the bathroom."

Lola: "No!"

Mean Mommy arrives.

This is when I physically take her to the bathroom and make her go. But now this situation escalates into an all out battle. Lola is screaming. I'm forcing her to sit on the toilet. She is planking now, and will not even sit. Instead her strategy is to find a way to slide off the toilet.

And then I have a brief out of body experience and I can Mean Mommy forcing screaming child to sit on the potty.

This is clearly not working. At all. In fact, she may need therapy some day for this.

So I let her go.

And five minutes later she is happily playing in pee soaked pants.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!

I have tried positive reinforcement. I have tried keeping on top of her. I have tried to force her. I have let her just pee her pants hoping she gets uncomfortable. I've made her clean her own mess up. I've had quiet, sweet talks with her about the importance of going pee pee on the potty. I have given her a time out for screaming her head off. I have threatened to call the doctor and take her again if she doesn't go.

I'm at the I-don't-know-what-to-do-but-I-better-figure-it-out-or-I-am-going-to-loose-my-effing-mind stage.

It's clearly not an ability thing. She poops in the potty almost all the time. I say almost because last week she decided to pull this crap with the number twosies. Literally. I draw the line at poop. I can't deal.

So my solution right now is to start over. I bought some bribing treats to reinforce her positive behavior. I got sour gummy bears and M&M's in hopes that this will be enough to get her to go on her own like she did six months ago.

I might be inducing diabetes and contributing to a mouth full of cavities, but at least she'll be a potty trained diabetic.

Wish me luck!

P.S. - If you have any suggestions, I'm game.



27 comments:

  1. Oh, girl, that’s painful. It’s so frustrating for a mom! But it totally sounds to me like she doing it to get a rise out of you. Next time she does, bite your lip and quietly hand her a change of undies and some paper towels so she can clean up her mess. After doing that a few times and realizing mommy won’t give her the reaction she’s looking for, maybe she’ll stop?! (I know, it’d kill ME, too, but it might work!)

    Good luck, Momma!

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    1. Thanks for the advice! And thanks for following!

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  2. OMG, that's killer! My son is 3 and they totally are testing this age to get a reaction out of us. If he starting pulling this, I can tell you I would probably put him in time out every single time he peed his pants. Does she go to preschool? I know threatening him with no more preschool would work too. Praying for your sanity!!

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    1. She doesn't go to preschool yet but threatening her with taking her to the doctor works...just a little though.

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  3. I haven't really started with Graceyn yet. She'll tell me she needs to sit on the potty, but never does anything, or she'll wait until she's wet our dirty to tell me and then sometimes she will deny that she's dirty when I ask, even when I know the reason she's been playing quietly is because she just pooped. It's frustrating. It took forever with Evan, and he wasn't fully potty trained until the 2nd week of kindergarten! Talk about momma wanting to pull her hair out. Good luck. I've got to really start with the baby diva soon. I may end up with a head of gray hair before it is all said and done.

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  4. Three-year-olds like to test their boundaries :) With my two boys I just took the diapers away completely and then changed them when they had accidents. They had a ton of accidents for the first month and then were done. I also made sure that I kept it really low key, my kids feed off of my stress :) I also waited until they turned three before even trying.

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    1. Low key...trying that. Because right now it's all dramatics!

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  5. Oh my gosh, I am so with you on this one. I have exact similar experience! I potty trained him (or so I thought) when he turned 2 and half ( to be on top of things, you know?)and he was just not into it. Then I used bribing techniques, stickers, candies, tree house TV..you name it. That kind of worked for a while. The next step was threatening. yeah, I became mean. I said I will take away, this, this and this from you if you don't listen to me. that too worked a teeny bit. He came to the right track for a while.... but only to digress again. So the end result, I am still kind of potty training him. He knows the concept. I am sure. But that is the problem. He pees in potty most of the time but sometimes he decides to get lazy and pees in his underwear. what is wrong with him? I hate potties!!! come on, I even wrote a post on this in my blog http://kiddiesfan.blogspot.ca/2012/10/mystery-of-potty-training-unsolved.html

    Anyways, what I did finally was depriving him off the comfort of diapers and pull ups (which is continuing even now)and that is working, very slowly...Totally Insane! :(

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    1. It is insane! One thing I forgot to mention, she hasn't been in diapers or pull ups for six months! She doesn't wet the bed or anything. That's the most frustrating thing - I know she is ready and capable. It's totally a behavioral issue.

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  6. Sounds like you need a laugh about potty training. I wrote this after our first MISERABLE crash and burn attempt at potty training. http://audthebroad.blogspot.com/2012/12/things-that-piss-me-off-about-potty.html

    In the end, my aunt was right and he did it when he was ready. We are 90% there (I don't trust him at night time yet, but with all of his other issues, I figure we can go with nighttime dipes for awhile longer)

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  7. Hey there - new follower from the linkup. Love your blog & can't wait to read more. Hope you have a great weekend :)
    Rachel
    http://sugar-stripes.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks for following, off to check you out!

      Delete
  8. Oh sorry to hear this - I remember how frustrating potty training my son was. It was the thing I dreaded the most!
    Good Luck!! Hope the 2nd time goes smoothly (and quickly) for you.

    pjmscloset.blogspot.ca

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  9. hi, i following the "aloha friday blog hop" and i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.

    http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com

    thanks
    new follower bev

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm following you right back!

      Delete
  10. I love this post! I start potty training with my 2 year old boy this weekend and I'm nervous! I found you on aloha blog hop and am your new follower! Pop over and follow back if you like?!

    xx kelly

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by! Good luck with potty training!

      following you back!

      Delete
  11. Both my girls were day trained by 18 months. I was lucky I guess! One thing, maybe look to see if any other changes a going on in her life. Often potty training regressions have to do with that. I also swear by naked potty training. Put her in a dress with no undies and see what happens. For some reason they often do not want to go anywhere but the toilet when they are naked. I really am an advocate on the potty training rewards, I know a lot of people are against them but I believe in them. It does sound like it is a power struggle so if she has accidents, act like you could care less. If she goes on the potty make a big deal about it.

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    1. Naked potty training? Hmmm...maybe I'll give that a whirl.

      Thanks for the suggestion!

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  12. Three year olds are hard work. Try a sticker chart, everytime she goes to the potty give her a sticker. Then at the end she can have a reward. You can get on line and print your self a sticker chart, they usually have about 20 spots for stickers, once they get through it then it has become habit. I did it with my little girl for not wetting her bed at night, she was just being lazy. The reward system was great, but she didn't get punished for mistakes. She loved her pack of books at the end and is now dry at night. Good luck!

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    1. Thanks for the suggestion! She loves stickers!

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  13. Oh wow! I don't have kids but I am dreading the milestones like this. Potty training sounds like such hard work. I love the Dora potty seat idea- sounds like you did a great job of getting her excited about it. Just found your blog and have enjoyed getting to know you better. Hope you don't mind if I follow along!

    new follower :)
    bonnie
    thelifeofbon.com

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Not at all! I'm following you back! Your blog is awesome and I love your writing!

      Delete
  14. Ugh...we have been trying to potty train Sass for the last month. It really only works so far when she has no clothes on. Since she can't go around naked all the time, this is not very useful. As soon as we put pull-ups on her, she usually goes in them. Then she pulls them off right after she goes #2 because it's uncomfortable and there's a huge mess everywhere.

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    1. Potty training is so NOT fun! But I hear the naked approach works for some kids! Too bad you don't live in a nudist colony. But is it really too bad? Good luck on the potty training! We both need it!

      Delete

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